No Handouts, Part 2

As we approach Christmas, the conservative and religious US is abuzz with tales of the "war on Christmas": the supposed sabotage by the godless left of America's most beloved holiday.

The UK has a slightly more secular version of Christmas, so many people here are shocked to learn that I never celebrated Christmas in the States, and are even more taken aback when I explained that I never received any Christmas presents.

"You didn't even get Hanukah presents?" they ask, horrified, as if a child not receiving gifts within a week of the winter solstice is one of the great possible human tragedies.

The truth is that I don't come from a very presents-centric family. I always got a birthday present, but other than that the general attitude of my parents was that gifts should be earned. If I wanted a new barbie doll, I had better pitch in with chores around the house. If I wanted a new pair of jeans, my homework better be handed in on time. There was no day of the year when I was showered with gifts just because other children in the western world also were.

The irony for me about this whole ordeal is that the "War on Christmas" people are also the faux-libertarian "no handouts" people - the conservatives who believe that under no circumstances should anyone ever be given something they haven't earned or worked for. "Get a job" they say to the recently unemployed who can't afford healthcare. "Why should we help you when you're not willing to help yourselves?"

These people will then go home and, on December 25th, for no particular reason (because a good deal of evidence points to the fact that Jesus was not actually born in December at all) give their kids a bunch of gifts that they in no way earned (sure, they say it's because Santa knows who's been naughty or nice, but do you know anyone who's given their kid a lump of coal?). If that's not a handout, I don't know what is. I'd like to see one conservative parent try to cancel Christmas and make their kids earn their gifts this year. Because if Christmas is truly an American holiday, and America is about working for what you have without any help from anyone else, then what's more un-American than indoctrinating kids into the handouts culture this early in life? Conservative parents should be ashamed.

There may be a war on Christmas, but only because Christmas is waging war on America.